Healing Stones

I saw book over at my friend, Kay's website. It looked interesting, so I read the book.
Have you ever read something and new it was for you and for your situation? This book ministered to me in so many ways.

The book is about how Demetria gets caught in a public scandal that threatens to destroy her and her family. She seeks counsel from Sullivan Crisp, her therapist. Micky gives her unusual grace and mercy by helping her with lodging and a job. As the story continues the relationships deepen in understanding, forgiveness, and compassion.

As I read how each of Demetria's family members handled her affair, I was convicted that I had been judgmental with one of my family members who hadn't used the greatest discretion in a decision. Even though I knew I was right, the way I handled it was oh, so wrong. I thought to myself, that if I was making my family member feel as bad as Demetria felt, I wasn't showing any compassion at all. The book made me take a look at myself from the standpoint of how do I handle offenses and sins. I found myself lacking...

Then you read about Sullivan Crisp-the therapist that is still dealing with his own issues of the past. How many times have you counseled your friend in something only to later have it come up in your quiet time with the Lord? I have many times. His path to healing was heartbreaking, yet very hopeful.

But the character that I related to the most was Micky. She gives all this grace and mercy to Demetria, yet when her own daughter has issues she draws a hard line. This no-nonsense woman felt like one of my own family members. She had a heart of gold even for her daughter, but responsibility killed the compassion that was needed to help heal situations, especially when it came to her daughter.

This is a book that depicts grace, but the type of grace that reveals one's heart and leads them to the One who can make them whole again.

Healing Stones gets 4 stars out of 5!

Happy 16th Birthday Jonathan!

Where did the time go, Jonathan? How can it be that you are 16 today? It just seems like yesterday when you were our sweet baby boy.

It seems like overnight you have become a man. We are so proud of you, son.





Joyful-you are always full of joy and are willing to share it with everyone.
Open- you are open and willing to help anyone.
Noble-your character stands above many. You have incredible integrity.
Amazing- Whatever you set your mind to do, you do.
Tolerant- You seek to understand, not just to be understood.
Humble- You don't ask for much or expect much from others.
Astute- Your questions never cease to amaze me.
Notable- You are our son in whom we are so pleased.

Happy Birthday! Jonathan!

Bungoma Orphanage

Check out this SlideShare Presentation:
I was looking for old pictures when I found this presentation. It is missing the audio sound, but has my original pictures that I took.

Bungoma Orphanage

View more PowerPoint presentation from tonyavan.

In quietness and confidence shall be your strength

"In quietness and confidence shall be your strength."

Tonight while Chuck and I were having dinner we discussed some of my mothering issues. I love being able to be so open and honest with my guy. Our openness is one of the most valued attributes of our marriage. I can talk to him about anything. So we were discussing my change of attitude when the kids are gone. It is like I am another person. This cloud lifts and Chuck and I have fun. But at home I seem to be all business. I think I have been this way since the babies were born. I remember having two under two and I would do the grocery shopping, clean the house, go to the laundry mat and make dinner all in one day.

How did I do that? Why did I do that?

I have always been this no nonsense mom. Everything was a mission. Chuck asked me if it was it a military mission or a missionary mission. My reply was both something like the Crusades and we all know how that ended…

This militancy in me derives from fear. Fear of not finishing what I started. One of my greatest sorrows in life is the fact that I didn’t finish high school. About three years into our marriage I found the guts to take my GED. I passed with ease, but secretly wondered if it was a fluke. I guess I haven’t been able to completely forgive myself for not finishing. Now, had I finished school, I wouldn’t have met Chuck or married him. So really, I can’t complain for Chuck has been the best thing in my life. But I really need to learn how to relax as a mom. Especially in these last few years I have with them.

Both kids have on numerous occasions told me how sad it is that I don’t know how to have fun. Amanda chalks it up to my childhood. :) She is such a sweet girl. Jonathan just shakes his head when I get a wide grin on my face from working out in the yard or cleaning the basement. Doesn’t everyone get happy when things get organized around the house?

Tonight I was reading Streams in the Desert and it quoted, in quietness and confidence shall be your strength. I think I have missed it over the years. Being confident in God that things were going to turn out for the kids. That we wouldn’t mess them up and then thrust them into society unprepared. I was so mission minded that I didn’t relax much. So as Amanda enters her senior year, I want to be more relaxed. I am not sure how to do this, but I am seeking the Lord in this area, hoping to find some pockets of peace as we finish out her education at home. For I want her to remember me not only as drill sergeant, but mom, too.

Marriage Monday- Changing the Destination Mentality

Well, I am a day late, but I still wanted to blog about being the right person for your spouse.

I started thinking about this topic right away. I went down my "to-do list" of change if you will and found myself wondering what I would really change about myself that would matter to Chuck. I don't know about you, but my point of view isn't what his is. So I brought this topic up to Chuck I wondered what he would say that I could have changed over the years. We started talking about the obvious ones; my weight. My weight bothers me, but really doesn't bother him. And since this is for him and not me, I moved on. I thought about my health, but how can you change something that you really don't have that much control over.

And then it hit me. I am destination minded. If there was something I could change for Chuck it would be that. I hate process. Absolutely hate it! He loves it. I am one who wants to check something off my list and move on. Being a mom, this has caused me a lot of frustration. Kids aren't designed for that type of thinking. Over the years we have talked about this problem of mine many times. I start to make progress then something seems to get in the way.

When you are so goal oriented you have a hard time relaxing. This has caused A LOT of stress in our home. I think that this is rooted in some of my past issues as a child. The thought that I need to do as much as possible, for you never know when it might be taken from you. Even though it wasn't a conscious thought, I think it ruled many of my decisions as a wife and mother. Everything I did, I did with an intensity and a lot of doubt. Most people never saw the doubt, but Chuck did. He has tried over the years to encourage me that I have done well with children, my business and whatever else. But I couldn't fully believe him.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

This particular Scripture I have struggled with, learning to live in peace. Learning to be at peace. Knowing that the Lord was on our side through each and every storm we faced.

I am glad that this topic was chosen, for it gave me time to evaluate what was really important to Chuck- peace and relaxing. What I plan to focus on the rest of the year. :)