Trust: What Characterizes a Marriage

I have been thinking about this month’s topic for a couple of days. I am grateful to be a part of Marriage Monday, even if I am posting in the wee hours of Wednesday.

My conclusion; trust in a marriage in paramount. I went to Dictionary.com to make sure I really knew what the word meant, I did not just want my experience of either having trust or having it broken to define what I thought it meant.  I learned a considerable amount in how a five letter word and how could impact us all so much. What I gleaned with the various definitions was that trust comes with great assurances but also great responsibilities. I am not sure if that is taught today in society.

Trust is something that is earned by demonstrating integrity and the ability to rely on someone or something. But trust can also mean the expectation of something, or hope. It also is a word to demonstrate care, safekeeping, and custody.

I believe all of these definitions characterize a marriage. I know that I went in with hope that Chuck and I would create a life that was very different from our childhood. But I lacked in the ability to rely on him for quite some time. My trust as a child and teen had been violated many times. Loving Chuck in many ways was easier than trusting him. That might seem strange to some, but it was where I started and when things became rough it was normally where I retreated to. This is where I believe faith in God makes a difference in a marriage. Sometimes it is hard to trust the spouse in a certain area, but one can trust God with that area and have peace through the process of change.

One of the greatest ways trust is built and maintained is through the safekeeping of each other’s hearts. I have grown up with Chuck. We married young and we had much to learn and overcome in learning how to communicate and treat each other.

Then there is another phase where your spouse changes in something that they have always done, and you have to adjust to the new growth. That period of time can be hard to walk through. Both Chuck and I have changed considerably over the years. If we weren’t flexible with those changes, we wouldn’t have survived.

Learning to open my heart to hope has in some ways been one of the hardest lessons to master. Right now I am struggling with this. Last year after our trip to the West, we came back so renewed and filled with hope for the future. We both felt like the Lord spoke clearly to us about our ministry. I was looking forward to college and Jonathan’s last year of high school. Then everything changed. I am not trying to whine or anything, but walking through these trials have been difficult. The hardest part is waiting on Chuck’s brain to heal and believing that it will continue to heal. I have come to terms that if Chuck’s brain didn’t heal anymore, than my love for him wouldn’t change. But we would have to learn how to communicate with each other; in many ways that is already happening. Yet, it’s hard to adjust to a new way living, especially when it is a radical change.

One of the biggest blessings I have is that we have walked through so much and not only survived but thrived, so I know we will get through this, too. We are leaning on what we have built to strengthen us on this new path that seems to have very steep inclines and deep crevices. I guess in many ways, Chuck and I have worked through so many issues that our trust for each other has been tested and tried.

One of my favorite Scriptures that has anchored me in many a storm is Philippians 1:6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

I can put my trust in this for me and for Chuck. What God started in us individually and in our marriage, He will complete it. :)